Thursday, July 31, 2003
Geez!!!!
Last Sunday was a day of ironies. It was a day of mixed emotions, muddled thoughts and tiredness. I was up at 3am to give my little baby her milk when I got a text from my sister in the US asking me if there is chaos here already. I was surprised to hear that. Yes, the talks about a coup has been floating around for weeks but I was busy with far more important things.That adrenalin flowed once again. I opened the radio and heard that rebel soldiers were planting bombs in Rustans and Glorietta. Then I turned the television on and was lucky that GMA was already on air to cover the event. Wow...what is this again?
The only thing I could do that time was sigh and keep on watching the drama unfold. To me it was like an old familiar movie running again. I wanted to get angry but at that time, I really did not know how to react anymore. Anger will just tire me...and I am tired trying to defend my rights in EDSA...and especially from people who do not deserve any position in government. Going to EDSA is exciting but emotionally, it is tiring. Why do I have to prove my love of country to my fellow Filipinos? Why do I have to defend myself to my fellow Filipinos? Why do I have to fight for my rights as a Filipino to my fellow Filipinos? It feels like it's getting to be like a running gag. It's an uncomfortable feeling.
Reb had a different reaction though...imagine a 10 and a half month old baby watching tv 10 minutes before the 5pm deadline and shouting "Ta...ta...ta!" for about 5 minutes with her left arm up, fist tightly closed and even putting her right hand over her left breast as if saying, "makabayan dapat tayong lahat! Ano bang ginagawa ninyo?!"
It did make me look at my little baby laughing but after that, it suddenly hit me that whatever we do now paves the way to their future...and then suddenly felt so frustrated. But then I told myself I cannot feel helpless now because only we can do something to change our future. Yes, the Magdalo group may have legit grievances but don't we all? It is still no justification to take up arms and force their ideas and thoughts on us. Trillanes said he felt so bad that people did not answer their call for support. That they proved to him that they did not care about the country. On the contrary, if only these junior officers opened their eyes, ears and heart even more, they will find that there are those who are even more aggrieved than them but continued to fight it fair and square. We cared...but we cared enough not to make the Philippines sink even further in exchange for my 15 minutes of glory and fame.
A military man was right in saying that they were issued those weapons to save the country...as I see it, they commandeered those weapons to save their asses. Kung talagang matapang sila, disarm and fight with their spirit and their conviction. Or get their own weapons...not those that were lent to them to protect the nation. Get their own guns and bombs and uniforms. Fight this as a Filipino, an individual...not a soldier using the country's equipment. It really did not make them any better than the people they wanted us to hate or boot out.
And Trillanes was stupid enough to ask why people did not gather around him? Cat got his brain?
