Friday, June 10, 2005
Growing pains
Nope. I'm not writing on the pains of growing up...at least not from a child's point of view. I'm talking about the pain parents go through when their children are growing up.Last summer I enrolled Reb in an academic program that lasted for a month. I was hoping she wouldn't be among the little people who cried their way in and then out the classroom. And she wasn't. It made me realize though that this little girl didn't even glance back to make sure I wouldn't leave her there. Was it because she assumed I would be there? Or because she was more excited to explore this new world?
Was I half-hoping she would run back to me? I don't think so because it made me feel proud of her that she didn't. I guess it just dawned on me that she is about to enter another phase in her life...one which means having to start living her ow separate life and building her own identity. It was both scary and exciting as a parent. I want her to learn to be independent but not too independent either.
Listening to my thoughts I soon found myself dealing with so many mixed feelings about being a parent. Loving it goes without saying but there are little things that bring some bittersweet pain. The overwhelming feeling to protect and yet give enough space for them to build and nurture their own world is not an easy thing to do. We praise their success but fear their mistakes. We can't help it. We are parents.
It's tough being a parent. You need to learn the meaning of tough love. You are constantly walking the tightrope called life when nothing is ever black or white. And the shades of grey doesn't offer much comfort either.
One thing is sure though. As a parent, I wouldn't want it any other way. It's the grey that makes me learn just how it is to be a parent.
